1. |
The La-La-Latke Song
03:33
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It’s time for us to gather at this season of the year
And wish a happy Chanuka to those that we hold dear
It lasts but eight short winter days, that isn’t very long
Considering we get to sing this cheerful little song—
CHORUS:
I wanna la-la-la-la-latka
Every Cha-Cha-Chanuka night
I wanna spin the drey-yey-yeydl
With all of my mi-mi-might
I wanna li-li-light the candles
So they shi-yi-yine so bright
I wanna la-la-la-la-latka
Every Cha-Cha-Chanuka night
The Maccabees defeated evil King Antiocus
’Twas in those days and at this time, their deeds miraculous
They showed that even common folk could overcome a king
That’s something we remember when on Chanuka we sing—
Come polish your menorah, make it shiny as you can
Now get the grater ready and your largest frying pan
Then dig out all the dreydls you packed up a year ago
It’s time to sing this song again to everyone you know—
Yes, light the festive candles, let the holiday begin
The snow shines bright and cold outside while we are warm within
The latkas sizzle on the stove, the dreydls whirl and fall
There’s laughter and there’s music as our merry voices call—
FINAL CHORUS:
I wanna la-la-la-la-latka
Every Cha-Cha-Chanuka night
I wanna spin the drey-yey-yeydl
With all of my mi-mi-might
I wanna li-li-light the candles
So they shi-yi-yine so bright
I wanna la-la-la-la-latka
Every Cha-Cha-Chanuka—
Lots of fun-uka
Eat ‘em by the ton-uka—
Cha-Cha-Chanuka night
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2. |
Four More Kashes
02:50
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On Pesakh there’s a wine glass that has no brim
On Pesakh there’s a fish that cannot swim
On Pesakh there’s some matza that cannot break
On Pesakh there is drinking no thirst to slake.
How can there be a wine glass that has no brim?
How can there be a fish that cannot swim?
How can there be some matza that cannot break?
And how can there be drinking no thirst to slake?
The kos of Eliyahu, it has no brim
A fish when it’s gefilte cannot swim
When matza’s in a kneydl, it cannot break
We drink the arba kosot no thirst to slake.
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3. |
Es Gezunt!
02:28
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I used to feel so guilty when sitting down to dine
About how much I like to eat and where my tastes incline
But lately I have realized, as I pile my plate with food
That given where I’m coming from, I’m eating as I should, for—
If the Good Lord had meant Jews to eat healthy food, He would never have given us kishka
He’d have given us tofu, like they eat in Japan
He’d have made rusks and dulse part of our diet plan
He’d have never allowed us salami, chopped liver, corned beef, or pastrami.
If God had meant Jews to have healthy insides, He would never have made us eat matza
On Passover we’d eat granola instead
Or, you know, come to that, He’d just let us eat bread
As it is, we go all out of kilter by dining on fish that’s “gefilter.”
If the K’dosh Borukh Hu had meant Jews to eat right, we’d have never found out about flanken
We’d have had chicken soup and a noodle or two
But knishes? Forget it—they’d be strictly taboo
And we’d never have grown to adults if as children our tongues had touched shmaltz.
If Jews had been meant to be athletes and jocks, we’d have never been tempted by kugel
We’d have just eaten yoghurt and crispy rice cakes
And for breakfast some fruit with dry toast or bran flakes
And we’d all spend the night in de-tox just for eating cream cheese with our lox.
Now none of these arguments works on my Dad, who eternally hucks me a tchainik
Saying, “Son, you are digging your grave with your teeth
And we’ll have to sit shiva when you’re underneath—
This is not just an old kukker fibbin’; that’s what happens to those who fress gribn!”
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4. |
Light One Candle
03:04
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In the Holy Land long ago
Israel was conquered by a foreign foe
But the tiny army of Judah Maccabee
Threw them out and set the people free.
Light one candle, cast the darkness out
Small can win the day, there’s no doubt
That’s what Chanukah is all about
Light one candle, cast the darkness out.
The Temple menorah needed lots of oil
But they only found one jar unspoiled
They thought the oil would only last one night
Eight days later it was still alight.
Light one candle, cast the darkness out
Small can win the day, there’s no doubt
That’s what Chanukah is all about
Light one candle, cast the darkness out.
This is the lesson of the Feast of Lights
Those that struggle on the side of right—
Don’t be discouraged by opposing might
It isn’t size but what’s inside that wins the fight.
Light one candle, cast the darkness out
Small can win the day, there’s no doubt
That’s what Chanukah is all about
Light one candle, cast the darkness out
Light one candle, cast the darkness out.
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5. |
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When I was just a little boy
On Peysakh, every spring
My zeyda led our seder
Reclining like a king
It was in Aunt Gerry’s dining room
With the crystal chandelier
Zeyda raised his cup and chanted
In a voice I still can hear.
And he sang Ha Lakhma Anya
All the way to Khad Gadya
While my uncles, aunts, and cousins
Followed in the Haggadah
And we stole the afikoman
And Eliyahu came
And each year we grew older
But the seder stayed the same.
Just after my bar mitzvah
My zeyda passed away
He was buried in his talis
Full of mitzvas, full of days
And that Peysakh, at the seder
Candles lit and table spread
My father sat where Zeyda’d sat
And he led as Zeyda’d led.
And we sang Ha Lakhma Anya
All the way to Khad Gadya
We sang Avadim Hayinu
And L’shana Haba’a
And the youngest asked the kashes
Everybody knew their parts
Zeyda wasn’t at the seder
But he was still there in our hearts.
My father led the seder
For thirty-seven years
His songs and jokes are part of
Our seder souvenirs
But we lost him late last August
We were with him when he died
And now I lead the seder
With my children by my side.
And we sing Ha Lakhma Anya
All the way to Khad Gadya
All in the proper order
From Kadesh to Nirtzah
And the voices of the present
Join the voices of the past
And they all will sing together
As long as seders last.
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6. |
Homen-Homentashen
03:23
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I love to eat on holidays and I will tell you why
The answer’s partly knedelakh and partly matza brei
And blintzes and gefilte fish and latkes large and small
But there is one delectable I love the best of all—
(And that is) Homen-, homentashen
Those triangles with fillings dark and sweet
Homen-, homentashen
There’s nothing in this world I’d rather eat
I saw a fancy bakery shop and tried to get some there
They said, “We have brioches and scones,” I said, “Get outa here!”
(I want some) Homen-, homentashen
To me, they’re always a treat.
The navy found a castaway upon a desert isle
He’d lived on fish and coconuts it seems for quite a while
The captain brought him T-bone steaks and vintage Bordeaux wine
The castaway just looked at him and said, “If you don’t mind—”
(I’d like some) Homen-, homentashen
Those triangles with fillings dark and sweet
Homen-, homentashen
There’s nothing in this world I’d rather eat
The French may have their croissants and the Yanks their apple pies
I’m sure they’re quite delicious but they just don’t tantalize—
(Not like my) Homen-, homentashen
To me, they’re always a treat.
Imagine wand’ring ‘round the desert with the Israelites
For forty years they dined on manna morning, noon, and night
If I’d been there, I know what I’d have done without delay
I’d walk right up to Moses and, “Rabeynu,” I would say—
(Can’t we have) Homen-, homentashen
Those triangles with fillings dark and sweet
Homen-, homentashen
There’s nothing in this world I’d rather eat
I understand that milk and honey soon will be our fare
But just to tide us over, don’t you think that God could spare
(A dozen) Homen-, homentashen
To me, they’re always a treat.
I went into McDonald’s for a nice Filet-O-Fish
It came with Coke and French fries and it really was delish
To top it off, I looked up at the menu for dessert
I didn’t see my favorite and you know that I was hurt
(I wanted) Homen-, homentashen
Those triangles with fillings dark and sweet
Homen-, homentashen
There’s nothing in this world I’d rather eat
I went up to the manager and said without a blush—
“If you can have McNuggets, you can have McHomentash!”
(Bring on the) Homen-, homentashen
The Purim pastry that’s oh, so tasty—to me, they’re always a treat.
(encore/optional verse)
Queen Esther threw a banquet for the King and you-know-who
Who didn’t know his pretty royal hostess was a Jew
The table talk came round to how the Jews would soon be dead
Queen Esther turned the tables and Haman was dead instead
(Now we’ve got) Homen-, homentashen
Those triangles with fillings dark and sweet
Homen-, homentashen
There’s nothing in this world I’d rather eat
Haman had said, “If I don’t get those Jews, I’ll eat my hat,”
But Mordecai outsmarted him, and since then WE’VE done that—
(We’ve eaten) Homen-, homentashen
The Purim pastry that’s oh, so tasty—to me, they’re always a treat.
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7. |
Rogelakh
00:48
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Rogelakh, rogelakh
Jewish croissants
With cinnamon in ’em an’
Tres élégant.
Rogelakh, rogelakh
Made with a twist
Thin as your finger
Or thick as your wrist.
Rogelakh, rogelakh
Eat a whole bunch
For breakfast, for supper
For snack or for lunch.
Rogelakh, rogelakh
Crumbs on your shirt
Eat ‘em with coffee
Or tea for dessert.
Rogelakh, rogelakh
Milkhig or parev
Delicious for kiddish
At Minkha or Ma’arev.
Rogelakh, rogelakh
Straight or convex
Buy ’em with MasterCard
VISA or cheques.
Rogelakh, rogelakh
So long—I'll see ya
I'd do this all day
But you get the idea!
Rogelakh, rogelakh
Less than a buck
I'm gonna go buy ’em—
Goodbye and good luck!
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8. |
My Mother’s Latkes
02:13
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Oh, my mother turns her latkes with an old kitchen knife
They’re the very best latkes you ate in your life.
And the people fought for freedom with Judah Maccabee
It’s Chanukah so come and have some latkes with me.
Oh, my mother grates potatoes with one onion small
Flour, salt, and baking powder, then eggs to bind all.
And the people fought for freedom with Judah Maccabee
It’s Chanukah so come and have some latkes with me.
Oh, my mother eats her latkes with applesauce fine
But I prefer sour cream or sugar on mine.
And the people fought for freedom with Judah Maccabee
It’s Chanukah so come and have some latkes with me.
Oh, my mother she makes latkes that we all do praise
And the small cruse of oil lit the Temple eight days.
And the people fought for freedom with Judah Maccabee
It’s Chanukah so come and have some latkes with me.
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9. |
The Bal Shem‘s Soup
02:51
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Now, the Bal Shem Tov was a very holy man
But a man of wealth by no means
And all that his wife could put in a pan
For his supper was a quart of soup beans.
With a scrap of onion and a dash of salt
That her one or two coins had bought her
And no one could find either flaw or fault
When she boiled up the beans in water.
CHORUS
And the Bal Shem danced (yom biddle biddle
bom)
And he laughed in his elation
And he praised the Lord for the fruits of the
earth
And the bounty of creation.
“Now, my dear,” said the Besht, “when the
cooking’s o’er
“The soup may be weak in savour
“I wonder if there’s anything more
“You can add for extra flavour?”
She recalled the roast they’d had that week
With a bone they’d gnawed since daily
So she put it in the beans at a slant oblique
Where it simmered away quite gaily.
Said she, “My dear, sure as dogs have pups
“And in Hebrew, ‘water’ is mayim
“The soup would be better for a drop of shnaps
That we use to drink lekhayim.”
To the top of the cupboard she reached in a
flash
(For the rebitzn, she was handy)
She took down a bottle and poured in a splash
Of the Bal Shem Tov’s best brandy.
Now, the very first spoonful of soup they tried
Was still a bisl shvakh and flaccid
Said the Besht, “It really can’t be denied
“It could use a bit of something acid.”
Said she, “Since Sukkis last year I’ve had
The esrog you shook with the lulav”—
[Oy! A lebn an dayn kep’!]
So a squeeze of lemon they agreed to add
By the hand of the Bal Shem’s true love.
And that’s how the soup was born, I hear
That’s named for the good Bal Shem Tov
It’s fine to eat any time of the year
Whether khol ha mo’ed or on yomtov.
Yes, lots of pleasure it’s sure to give
Whatever the week or the day is
And whether you’re Reform or Conservative
Or a khasid with a beard and peyis.
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10. |
Azey Geyn di Yoren
02:58
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Azey geyn di yoren
It’s us now growing old
And finally seeing what we’ve always known
That our parents would grow feeble
Their memories dim and fade
And in the end we all must walk alone.
Azey geyn di yoren
We visit family graves
And leave a little pebble on each stone
We invite the dear departed
To the simkhas we will hold
As if they still were flesh and blood and bone.
We look through dusty albums at our family photographs
The faces look so happy and so young
Early chapters of a story whose ending’s always sad
Because of what they’d been and then become —
Azey geyn di yoren
The women cut and sew
The cotton shrouds in which the dead will lie
We wear nothing to the grave
That says who and what we were
It’s jokes and stories we’re remembered by.
Azey geyn di yoren
The old men at the Y
Their lockers echo with the give and take
They stand naked at the urinals
And watch the waters swirl
And never tire of the joke they make —
Azey geyt di yoren.
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11. |
Put the Latkes on to Fry
03:09
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Oh, Chanuka’s come round again
Put the latkes on to fry
It’s time to watch the dreydls spin
Put the latkes on to fry
We’ll light the candles one by one
We’ll sing some songs and have some fun
We light the candles every night
Come have a latke, take a bite!
We light the candles, one, two, three
And sing about the Maccabees
We light the candles, six, seven, eight
See the stack of latkes on the plate
And when the candles are aglow
We’ll sing the songs of long ago
Sing “Maotzur yeshuati”
There’s gifts for you and gelt for me
With applesauce and sour cream
Eat latkes till we burst a seam
Now’s the time for gifts and gelt
If the sun don’t shine, then the snow won’t melt
My bobe’s menorah sits on the shelf
If you want any more you can sing it yourself
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12. |
Ram in the Thicket
03:45
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Now in the Bible, so I’ve read
God called to Abraham and thus he said
“Before two days are past and gone
“You must sacrifice Isaac, your beloved son.”
Oh, don’t despair, there’s a ram in the thicket
God is there, there’s a ram in the thicket
He hears your prayer, there’s a ram in the thicket
There’s a ram in the thicket by the grace of God.
Next morning Abraham did depart
With a grieving soul and an aching heart
He took young Isaac by the hand
But he told him not God’s cruel command.
“Oh, Father, for the sacrifice
“I see the fire, I see the knife
“But where’s the lamb?” young Isaac cried
“Oh, my son, God will provide.”
Then Abraham he bound his son
He laid him on the altar stone
He raised the knife to do God’s command
God called, “Abraham, stay thy hand!”
The father freed the son he loved
He’d proved his faith to God above
Then in the bushes he cast his eyes
Saw a ram God sent for a sacrifice.
Now there is a moral, the rabbis say
The good Lord tests you every day
And if your faith is strong and true
There’s a ram in the thicket and it’s there for you.
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13. |
Sheyne Ponim
01:27
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Sheyne Punim is mayn meydl
Makes my head spin like a dreydl
She’s my kugl, I’m her kneydl
Such a Sheyne Punim.
Sheyne Punim, kenayn horeh
Studied at the talmud toreh
Knows her Sodom from Gemoreh
That’s my Sheyne Punim.
Sheyne Punim once had tsoris
On a date with my friend Morris
Since then he has shlogged kaporis
Over Sheyne Punim.
Sheyne Punim, she’s a katchke
But with her you shouldn’t patchke
Your poor heart is just a tchatchke
To my Sheyne Punim.
Sheyne Punim, ovtzolokhes
Every day I’m shepping nakhes
Every night I count my brokhes
For my Sheyne Punim.
Sheyne Punim, Sheyne Punim
Blessing from my makhatunim
We’ll have kinder—great rabunim—
All with sheyne punim.
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14. |
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I was in a kosher deli, it was just the other day
When an old man called the waiter and I overheard him say
“I’m looking at the menu and the specials on the wall
“And I can’t find a thing to eat, ’cause there’s no tongue at all!”
You’ve got turkey and pastrami, you’ve got latkes and salami
You’ve got pickled peppers packed in jars and crocks
You’ve got gribines and knishes, and a zillion kinds of fishes
(I see whitefish, sable, cisco, carp, and lox)
You’ve got vursht-and-eggs and knakers fressed by all the alte kakers
You’ve got kishka, helzl, fricassee, and lung
You’ve got gefilte fish and khreyn, you’ve got seltzer (“two cents plain”)
So how come you don’t have tongue?
I looked the menu over and I saw that he was right
There was not a single reference to any “tongue” in sight
And just like him I’d always thought, of deli it was king
So, khalishing for tongue on rye, I too began to sing:
You’ve got cole slaw and dill pickle, you’ve got rye and pumpernickel
You’ve got jars of prunes that always get results
You’ve got smoked meat by the platter that you trim up lean or fatter
I get heartburn just imagining the shmaltz
You’ve got kneydelakh and kugel for the spendthrift and the frugal
You’ve got khalapches whose praise is widely sung
And by all accounts it’s true-ish that deli-wise, you’re Jewish
So how come you don’t have tongue?
By now the other customers had turned their heads our way
And listened to our plea for deli justice and fair play
Then all for one and one for all they rallied to our cause
And so we sang our song again to thunderous applause:
You’ve got corned beef on the slicer and it couldn’t be much nicer
You’ve got kreplakh that’ll make a tasty snack
You’ve got miltz and pickled herring, and ptcha (now that is daring)
And chopped liver that’s an instant heart attack
You’ve got cholent, meat or parev, so that no one they should “stareve”
You’ve got waiters who were old when they were young
You’ve got borshch and matzabray and every kind of khazeray—
So how come you don’t have tongue?
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Shelley Posen Ottawa, Ontario
SHELLEY POSEN is a Canadian songwriter and performer of his own and traditional songs. He writes in many styles and on many subjects. His songs are widely recognized for their wit, craftsmanship, and the profound effect many seem to have on listeners.
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