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So How Come You Don​’​t Have Tongue?

from Manna by Shelley Posen

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To download PDF lyric sheets and credits visit: shelleyposen.com/lyrics/

lyrics

I was in a kosher deli, it was just the other day
When an old man called the waiter and I overheard him say
“I’m looking at the menu and the specials on the wall
“And I can’t find a thing to eat, ’cause there’s no tongue at all!”

You’ve got turkey and pastrami, you’ve got latkes and salami
You’ve got pickled peppers packed in jars and crocks
You’ve got gribines and knishes, and a zillion kinds of fishes
(I see whitefish, sable, cisco, carp, and lox)
You’ve got vursht-and-eggs and knakers fressed by all the alte kakers
You’ve got kishka, helzl, fricassee, and lung
You’ve got gefilte fish and khreyn, you’ve got seltzer (“two cents plain”)
So how come you don’t have tongue?

I looked the menu over and I saw that he was right
There was not a single reference to any “tongue” in sight
And just like him I’d always thought, of deli it was king
So, khalishing for tongue on rye, I too began to sing:

You’ve got cole slaw and dill pickle, you’ve got rye and pumpernickel
You’ve got jars of prunes that always get results
You’ve got smoked meat by the platter that you trim up lean or fatter
I get heartburn just imagining the shmaltz
You’ve got kneydelakh and kugel for the spendthrift and the frugal
You’ve got khalapches whose praise is widely sung
And by all accounts it’s true-ish that deli-wise, you’re Jewish
So how come you don’t have tongue?

By now the other customers had turned their heads our way
And listened to our plea for deli justice and fair play
Then all for one and one for all they rallied to our cause
And so we sang our song again to thunderous applause:

You’ve got corned beef on the slicer and it couldn’t be much nicer
You’ve got kreplakh that’ll make a tasty snack
You’ve got miltz and pickled herring, and ptcha (now that is daring)
And chopped liver that’s an instant heart attack
You’ve got cholent, meat or parev, so that no one they should “stareve”
You’ve got waiters who were old when they were young
You’ve got borshch and matzabray and every kind of khazeray—
So how come you don’t have tongue?

credits

from Manna, released January 10, 2003

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Shelley Posen Ottawa, Ontario

SHELLEY POSEN is a Canadian songwriter and performer of his own and traditional songs. He writes in many styles and on many subjects. His songs are widely recognized for their wit, craftsmanship, and the profound effect many seem to have on listeners.

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